“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” ― Nora Ephron
When I was a child, my mother always used to tell me that I was fearless. I think it really freaked her out, but she also admired that quality in me. My boldness carried over into my teen years, but when I first moved out of the house to try and start my own life, I lost that. Or rather, it was (temporarily) taken from me by the hands of my abuser.
There came a point in time when I decided I was no longer going to be anyone’s victim. It took me a few tries, but I found the courage to get out and stay out. I was determined to do whatever it took to get my life back, no matter how scary or difficult the road ahead might be.
“Freedom lies in being bold.” ― Robert Frost
Though I stayed enmeshed in that relationship for about 4 years, there was real damage done to my body and my psyche that lingered for many years beyond. I started having panic attacks, and terrible nightmares. I also discovered that I have a heart condition. I developed a fear of heights- particularly of stairs and bridges. Weird, right? I became very fearful, and small, and timid. It was not the life I wanted to live, so I set out to address my broken parts, my ugly parts, and create a whole and complete life that I could be proud to live.
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ― e. e. cummings
I would totally be lying if I said that I’m fearless. Of course there are things that frighten me, things that scare me and trip me up from time to time. The difference is that now I allow myself to feel the fear, acknowledge it, and make the choice to move forward anyway if doing so will benefit me.
It has taken a lot of work, and a great deal of support along the way. I have made some amazing, life-long friendships through reaching out, and I have faced my fears, one by one, and have not backed down. I have some dear and trusted souls in my life who I can talk to and who help me sort out what is genuinely scary, and what is irrational. Each step forward has given me the blessing of confidence, strength, and the courage to keep going, to keep growing.
One more step in facing my fear of heights: Parasailing! Catalina Island, CA 1995
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” ― Nelson Mandela
If I had given in to my fears, and not found my courage- there are so many rich and wonderful experiences I could never have enjoyed. I would not have followed my heart, and would have missed this incredibly beautiful, satisfying, love-filled life that I get to live. I am Courageous!
“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.” ― William G.T. Shedd
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Michelle Lewis (she/her/they) is the creator & founder of The Blessings Butterfly, a holistic coaching & energy healing practice that is teaching people to live a life that they love. She is a writer, speaker, energy witch/healer, and author of the Amazon bestselling positive affirmation books, The Blessings Butterfly and The Blessings Butterfly Having worked hard for decades to overcome severely traumatic events that began in her early childhood and repeated in painful, looping patterns well into her adult life, Michelle is passionate about using her gifts and wisdom in bringing hope and healing to millions. This is more than “mindset hacks” and “Pollyanna” positivity. Through the work of what she calls Transformational Positivity, Michelle helps her clients to get clear on where to shift their thoughts and actions, while dismantling the culture of toxic positivity.
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