Toxic Positivity

The biggest difference between Transformational Positivity and #toxicpositivity is that the latter doesn’t invite or encourage you to fully express the difficult feelings of heartache, anger & pain when you’re suffering from the very real life experiences of disappointment, betrayal, abuse and generally shitty behavior from other hurt, angry, unhappy humans. That’s not Transformation- that’s just bypassing.

As a writer and speaker who values telling the truth AND is driven by a desire to ease our suffering, I often find myself in the sticky space of highlighting the transformation while still trying to honor the struggle. The struggle isn’t pretty, everyone wants to focus on the transformation, and yet I know that you simply can’t have one without the other.

As I continue to work on my craft, I know that I don’t always get the balance quite right. I have been guilty at times of focusing too much on one aspect without giving enough weight to the other, and that’s just not helpful. I want to thank you for supporting me as I keep on trying to help us express our whole life experience, the Light and the Shadow, without the unhelpful gaslighting and trivializing so often found in overly simplistic affirmations. Those have their place, but that’s just not here.

We do have the strength & wisdom inside to heal of our wounds. We are capable of moving through the hard and dark and daunting places of our past in order to step fully into our brightest light. There is such POWER in our words, YES, and we can create new ways of being in the world that are loving and supportive and keep us moving forward. AND. And. We must be willing to sit with our deep discomfort, our “low vibe” and “negative emotions” when they are triggered without being made to feel as though we aren’t awakened enough or spiritual enough for feeling them. That we’re somehow broken and doing it wrong.

Love, if that is the message you have been hearing in your search for healing, then I want you to hear this: You Are Not Broken. You Are Not a F*cking Mess. You Are Allowed to Feel What You Feel. You’re Not Crazy. You Are Loved, Amazing, Seen, Heard, and You’re Not Alone.

💖🦋