Today’s Monday Mantra is a little different and has more of a teaching element to it than what I typically share. I hope it is helpful to you!
This weekend I had a few encounters with Anger, and it was not too pretty. I think it is fair to say that I have always had a low tolerance for bullshit and a strong sense of justice, so whenever something or someone violates my perceived code of Right vs. Wrong, I feel intensely activated. This has not always served me well in the heat of the moment, but it sure has taught me a lot over the years.
Upon further inspection, I’ve learned that Anger has a more subtle purpose than we may always give it credit for: Anger immediately alerts us to a situation or circumstance that upsets our sense of calm, safety, peace and wellbeing because Anger is really a messenger delivering us an invitation to healing.
Whenever something makes us feel angry, it is often an opportunity to look a little deeper and name the fear being exposed within. I’m finding that when I take the time to do this, to look beyond my immediate feelings of anger and get beneath the surface, I am able to address the issue with a much more calm, clear, and rational mindset instead of defaulting to Rage & Regret. I’m better equipped to bring Peace & Healing into the equation, which is my ultimate goal.
Tips & Tricks:
- Use Your Words- Begin by addressing the situation, not by attacking the other person. Acknowledge the anger you are feeling by stating the obvious: “I am so Angry!” (Or I am so *#!!* Angry if you’re like me, lol) This is the first step to taking control of your actions and being present (mindful) in the situation.
- Articulate & Assess– Ask yourself what exactly are you mad about? Has someone said something offensive? Do you feel disrespected, disappointed, betrayed or something else? Have you or someone you care for been hurt or endangered? Getting a clear picture of what exactly has triggered Anger in you will help you to take appropriate action instead of blindly raging.
- Get Help/Seek Wisdom– Get some clarity by talking through the situation with someone you look up to. Getting the perspective of someone who is not attached to it can help you see important clues that you may have missed. Try to incorporate some mind/body tools like EFT (Tapping) to help get to the root of your Anger.
- Remember the Goal– Anger indicates that something has interfered with your sense of peace, so the goal is to restore peace and support healing. Whatever circumstances may have upset your apple cart, there is always a chance of restoration. You just have to be willing to seek the solution.
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